Making Decisions That Feel Right (Instead of Just Looking Good on Paper)

We all know that feeling. Staring at a decision that looks perfect on paper—the higher-paying job, the "logical" next step, the choice that everyone says we "should" make—yet something in our gut tells us it's not quite right.

Twenty-nine years ago, I had what many would consider "the perfect setup" - a C-Suite position I enjoyed and a clear career trajectory. I thought my career for life had been decided. That felt good. Then I had my son, and everything shifted. The thought of going back to my job and leaving this tiny, perfect, human in the care of anyone but me for 12 - 14 hours a day, was unimaginable. I could feel it in my soul - it wasn’t going to work for me. I knew I had to find another option that would allow me to create income for our family and have the flexibility to be there for my son. That's when I made one of the biggest decisions of my life - I told my partner we were going to start our own business so I could create a schedule that worked around our son. I would do sales and marketing and he would do the skilled labor.

I had no clue how to start a business or what I was doing. On paper, starting a business with the intention that it would be able to support our family before my maternity leave ran out was insanity. Driven by what mattered most to me, I showed up every day and did what it took to make it happen. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

That decision taught me something crucial: the best choices aren't always the ones that look good on paper. They're the ones that align with who we truly are and what matters most to us.

Think about how we're typically taught to make decisions. We're told to:

But here's what's missing from this approach: ourselves. Our true selves, with all our unique values, gifts, and aspirations.

This traditional approach to decision-making often leads us to choices that look great from the outside but leave us feeling somehow misaligned on the inside. We end up successful but unfulfilled, accomplished but uninspired, "making it" but missing something.

Through my own journey—from corporate executive to entrepreneur, from boardroom strategies to Everest Base Camp treks—I've developed what I now call the Decide Your Life Framework. It's an approach to decision-making that looks at choices through five essential lenses that are the key ingredients to a fulfilled life.

This isn't just about what you do—it's about why you do it. Your purpose is the deeper motivation that drives you forward. For example, when I decided to start my business, my purpose wasn't just about "being an entrepreneur." It was about creating a life where I could be fully present for the moments that mattered most.

These are your non-negotiable principles—not the ones you think you should have, but the ones that truly define who you are. When I work with clients, we often discover that what they think are their values are actually borrowed from others. Real values aren't just nice ideas; they're principles you naturally live by even when no one's watching.

This is about what truly deserves your energy and attention. Not what society says should be important, but what matters deeply to you. These buckets might include family time, creative expression, personal growth, community impact, or any other areas that make your life feel rich and meaningful.

These are the things that come so naturally to you that you might not even recognize them as special. They're the abilities that you have put time and effort into learning. The most important thing to look at through this lens is - Are the skills and abilities you are utilizing giving you energy or draining you?

What naturally draws your attention? What topics make you lose track of time? What conversations make you lean in? These aren't just hobbies—they're clues to what brings you alive. These are the things that make your soul sing.

When you evaluate decisions through these lenses, interesting things start to happen. That "perfect" job opportunity might look less perfect when you realize it doesn't align with your skills and talents that give you energy. The "practical" choice might seem less practical when you consider how it conflicts with your core values.

Let me share an example. Sarah was considering a promotion that came with a significant salary increase. On paper, it was a no-brainer. But when examined through the framework:

Through this lens, what looked like an obvious "yes" revealed itself as a path that would take her further from her authentic self and the life she wanted. Instead, she chose to negotiate for more creative responsibilities in her current role—a decision that honored who she truly was.

The beauty of this framework is that it can be applied to any decision, big or small. Whether you're:

The key is to start by getting clear about these five aspects of yourself. What's your true purpose? What are your actionable core values? What really deserves your energy? What are your natural gifts? What truly interests you?

Once you have this clarity, decisions become less about what you "should" do and more about what aligns with who you are.

I encourage you to start looking at your decisions through these lenses. Ask yourself:

Life's too short to keep making decisions that look good on paper but feel wrong in your soul. When we learn to decide from a place of true alignment, we create not just success, but fulfillment—not just achievement, but authentic expression of who we really are.